Three years ago, our lives changed forever when my husband suffered a devastating accident at work. A cap blew off a pressurized tank and hit him squarely in the face, leaving him with severe injuries, including a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). This single moment has had ripple effects that nearly shattered our marriage and caused marriage struggles that has upended our family life in ways I never could have imagined.
The Best Known of Marriage Struggles: The Financial Toll
One of the immediate and ongoing challenges has been financial stress. Before the accident, we were a dual-income household, and while we weren’t rich, we were comfortable. After the accident, workers’ compensation replaced only a third of his usual income. The sudden drop in financial stability brought on a wave of anxiety and marriage struggles. Bills piled up, savings dwindled, and every month felt like a juggling act to keep the lights on and food on the table. Vacations, date nights, and even small luxuries vanished as every penny was accounted for.
Adding to this strain is my husband’s sense of bitterness over our financial situation. He struggles with the fact that I’m unable to supplement our income to its previous levels. He seems incapable of understanding the immense responsibilities I’ve taken on. It has been hard for him to reconcile the gap between where we are now and where we used to be. This tension adds another layer of difficulty to an already overwhelming situation.
Compounding the issue, my own income has decreased significantly as I’ve had to neglect our business due to the extra duties and his care monopolizing my time. The once-thriving business that we built together is now barely sustaining us, and the pressure to keep it afloat adds yet another level of stress to our already strained situation.
The Emotional Strain
The most heartbreaking consequence of the accident has been the changes in my husband’s personality. The TBI has affected his ability to make sound decisions, and his once-humorous demeanor has been replaced with bouts of verbal aggression. It’s as if I’m living with a stranger—someone I love deeply but don’t always recognize.
Conversations that used to be lighthearted are now laced with frustration and misunderstandings. The person I married was my partner in every sense of the word, and now, I often feel like a caregiver more than a wife. The verbal outbursts and the unpredictability of his moods have made our home feel less like a sanctuary and more like a battleground at times.
The Physical Burden
Adding to the emotional weight is the physical toll of managing our home and lives almost entirely on my own. Before the accident, we shared responsibilities. Now, because of his dizziness and balance issues, I’ve had to take on not just the “inside” duties traditionally associated with my role—cooking, cleaning, laundry—but also the “outside” duties that were once his domain. Yard work, home maintenance, and repairs now fall squarely on my shoulders.
On top of that, he can no longer drive. This means every errand, appointment, and obligation that requires transportation has become my responsibility. Some days, I feel like I’m on a never-ending hamster wheel, running in every direction but never getting anywhere.
As if that weren’t enough, I am now the sole person running our business. Balancing the demands of keeping the business afloat while managing everything else has been an incredible challenge. It feels like there are never enough hours in the day, and the weight of that responsibility can be crushing at times.
The Emotional Impact on Our Marriage
All these challenges have taken a massive toll on our relationship. The resentment has crept in—not just on my part but his, too. He is frustrated with his limitations and hates feeling like a burden. I’m frustrated with the unrelenting demands on my time, energy, and emotional reserves. These marriage struggles leave us grieving the life we used to have, and that grief often manifests as anger or withdrawal.
There are moments when I wonder how we’ve made it this far. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, but it can be hard to feel like partners when one person is carrying so much of the load. And yet, there are slivers of hope at times, the rare moments when I see the person my husband used to be. The prescribed counseling, both individual and couples, will hopefully help us start to unpack some of the hurt and find ways to communicate better. Support from my friends have shown me that I’m not alone in this struggle, and that has been a lifeline on my darkest days.
Finding the Strength to Keep Going Amid Marriage Struggles
If there’s one thing I’ve learned through this journey, it’s that resilience isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, day after day, even when it feels impossible. Our marriage may not look the way it did before the accident, but I’m still here, fighting for it.
To anyone else dealing with marriage struggles or walking a similar path, know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, angry, and exhausted. It’s okay to grieve the life you thought you’d have. And it’s okay to ask for help. You are not alone.
I have been following you and your story all along. I wish I could afford to donate money to you, but all I can do is pray for you and your family. I can tell that you are very intelligent and dedicated. I hope that somehow your future becomes bright again. I will continue to follow and pray for you and yours!
I too am my husband’s care giver. Due to his health and being in the end stages of his life leaves everything on me. I have to do everything for him and everything that has to be done is on me. I know exactly how you feel but I don’t handle it the way you do. I will never get on facebook and talk about him and his family the way you do. You will never see me drunk lying in bed bitching about him. The man I married nearly 50 years ago is still there just in a different way.
Why come here and cut Kelly down? Are you just mean?
Bravo to you. You truly understand that a marriage is a partnership especially one of 50 yrs.
Why come to try to be disrespectful to her! She has been put through the ringer and she is still there fighting to keep her marriage! Personally I give her so much credit because he hasn’t been very nice at times to her and we have no clue all she goes through with him!
Keely was never drunk in bed and it’s ok if she wants to talk about her relationship with her husband..how dare u come in here and say things like that about Kelly she’s THE ONE AND ONLY person in the relationship that is trying to save her marriage..so how dare u get on here and say things like about her if u don’t have anything nice to say say then don’t say anything at all…good riddance and I hope this comes back to bite u in the A$$!!!! And Kelly I’m here for u anytime u want to talk and express how u feel I’ve been following u for a very long time and don’t listen to people like this they r trolls and they have no business on here saying crap like this about u…I’m praying for u Kelly always and just know I’m a friend ❤️
Praying for you Kelly. I’ve been watching your videos forever & see the struggles y’all have & are still going through. All I know is just give it all to God & he will take care of it. My husband was ran over by a guy high on cocaine & have a severe head injury, 2 brain surgeries & never recovered. He woke up but never could talk or eat or anything. He laid like this for exactly two months including palliative care. He passed away on our son’s birthday. 2 weeks later I found out I had breast cancer. 2 surgeries & 10 radiation treatments later I’m cancer free. I’m telling you this because I was where you are now, run down, feeling helpless etc. I just kept praying for God to give me strength & he did. You will get through this. Best wishes for you. 🙏💕
❤️❤️❤️
I live in a similar situation .
We lived got over 2 years on my income before my husband was finally deemed disabled.
It’s hard and I had to retire to take care of him. The Lord has graciously provided for us every step of the way. Surgeries and outpatient procedures are still a big part of our life, but I know that the Lord is with us every step of the way!
Sometimes I want and need to vent and thankfully I have two of the best friends anyone could ever have!
Continued prayers for you and your family! 🫶🏼
I’ve been on your shoes…for 28 years I dealt with an angry man who had suffered an injury at work. We had so many changes and four young children to take care of. It was one of the hardest throngs I e ever dealt with but I would do it all again except he passed away almost seven years ago. Try to find moments to treasure amidst the heartbreak.
Sadly to say, he is only using you. You can’t live a happy life on what things used to be. Either leave or STOP complaining! It is what you ALLOW it to be!
Bless your heart. Keep God in your life and he will help you through. Prayers
Praying for you both, I can’t imagine how difficult the must be. We’ve been thru hard times in our marriage of 58 years but nothing compared to this. Kelly, you are so strong and have been thru all of this. I hate that his family has been no help and adds to the stress, I’m sure deep down Michael hates this too. Michael, is at a loss as to what to do, his frustrations are high and he doesn’t feel well, I’m sure he wants the old Michael back as much as you do. I’m sure you know this and that’s why you are fighting so hard to help this work. God bless you, my prayers for healing in every way everyday.
Yall are always in my thoughts and prayers 🙏 ❤️
Kelly, I can honestly say you have tried and tried and tried. Every time I watch your videos my heart breaks with yours. I feel the emotions you feel in my own situation. My hubby did not have a job related injury but he has sooooo many health issues now that he did not have when we married. Not that he can help or control having them because they are definitely here to stay unless the Good Lord does a miracle. I know that’s possible but in reality of the Doctor reports, he’s terminal. It hurts my heart because the what ifs, the unknown, all so overwhelming. Every aspect of “life” as we once knew it, falls on me. My shoulders alone! He gets frustrated, I get frustrated/overwhelmed. It’s not easy by any means.
I hate seeing you so sad. So hurt. Your mindset to hang in there and fix what you can is admirable. I’m doing the same. I pray for a miracle break through for you and Michael. Hang in there Kelly and just know your viewers care! I wished financially I could rescue you and your needs but I’m barely making it myself. Prayers for that miracle continue. Hugs to you.
I sent you a personal message in Messenger, please read it.
Kelly. These past few years I have watched and listened to all your struggles and also were amazed and wondered how I would react if I was in your shoes. But I know you are blessed and no matter what you never give up. So for what it’s worth. REM u come first! Love you.
I am praying for you both. Jesus is the answer to all your problems. You must first trust Jesus Christ for your salvation. He will change your heart and give you a joy and peace like you have never known. He can put your marriage and family back together. The devil wants nothing more than yall to continue down the road you are going. Jesus is your redeemer!!! Living life at its best without Jesus is a miserable thing. May God Bless you both and your family
I admire your strength and your willing to keep fighting no matter what is thrown at you . You will definitely be able to say that you gave it your everything )even if it doesn’t end the way you hoped ,or dream .
Kelly, I have watched your journey since before the accident, you may not think you can carry on some days, but I do believe the love is still there, you and Michael have something no one else have, you both have more strength than you can imagine. Maybe take a breather and go for walks and enjoy the outdoors that you love. Keep praying
Praying for ya’ll sweet lady!! We do miss you and are Praying for your situation
Sending much Love, hugs and prayers
Hi,
Im seriously wondering why he hasn’t gotten a settlement from this work related injury. Its BS that it’s taken so long. You need financial help 🙁
The other part of it is , I pray that you will keep holding on and clinging to Christ Jesus through it all. I totally understand what you are going through but maybe not to the degree as it does not affect my marriage.
I have been a caregiver for both of my parents who have dementia and it is taking a toll mentally. There are days I’m frustrated and then there are days I lay heaping amounts of guilt on myself. I cared for my dad until he passed away and now it’s my mom. Although I’m not with them 24/7 , my mind is exhausted as I drive back and forth every week to help my mom . I live over an hour away . I understand your feelings that you feel like you’re more of a caregiver than his wife. I feel like I am more of a caregiver than a daughter. I hate the feeling but I know the good LORD has us both and we just have to cling to His promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us .
If I could be of any help advice wise, I would strongly stay off of social media with the personal problems in your marraige. People don’t understand and it will backfire and you will be judged harshly. Also if you are in the middle of some type of lawsuit you have to be very careful what you put out there because lawyers will use Facebook content against you. You are loved and I’m praying.
I watch your life updates all the time and it breaks my heart that I cannot help you financially. But I can pray. You too will come out of this Valley stronger in your marriage than ever before although it doesn’t feel like it now. Don’t give up but you also have to take care of yourself or you will be of no good to anyone. God bless you
Kelly, I’ve been watching you and your family since before his accident! I’m so so sorry you and your family is experiencing this, I can’t imagine! I also wanted to let you know, I know it was very stressful on you creating the cookbook, but I received mine and you did an amazing job on it! You have actually inspired me to make one for my family with all of our family recipes so my kids and grandkids will have them!! So thank you for that!
Sending my prayers to you and your family! ❤️🙏🏻
I feel what your saying Kelly, my husband had to have a double lung transplant ( which turned into a triple, they tore one lung ) he personality changed and they said he would never be the person I knew him as before.
He came home on 27 meds breathing treatments and insulin shots to be given, that was all on me.
At the time it felt so over whelming and exhausting and how he would talk to me when he was frustrated.
He was no longer allowed to be out side without sunblock, ( which is something the man never ever used and he was an out doors person day break til night fall.
It was so hard on us, but you know what I would GLADLY do it all over again just to have him alive again.
He developed fluid in his lungs and couldn’t survive it due to two different persons lungs ( since they had to replace on of the transplants.)
So I understand where you’re coming from, it’s a lot but girl God will give you the strength. Just ask for his help, keep the faith and he’ll be there. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I went through this in 2007. Very long story but I totally get where you were coming from, where you are now and possibly the end result. I pray for you to find peace in whatever decision you make that works for YOU! You are IT girl, the kids are grown and we as strong women cannot fix everything or everyone even the husbands we love and that is okay. Know when it is time to let the dream go and live your new dream to life.
Dear Kelly
I’ve been a viewer and a follower for a long time and I seen you happy and it’s so saddening to see you hurt the way you was on your last live there is absolutely no reason why you should be treated the Way you are you are a damn good wife and a mother and they should all wake up and realize what they have before it’s too late you are a strong woman and you are a fighter I think about you and pray for you all the time and I pray to God that Michael will wake up and see that he has a beautiful wife that loves him and cares for him and the kids should also start treating you with respect as a mother there is enough hatred in the world and for family to be torn apart the way yours is being done is very saddening but Kelly remember you have thousands of followers that are good friends and we all care for you and pray for you so try to stay tough I know it’s hard.
Marriage is hard even on good days, throw in a devastation and it makes it that much harder. Lean on our Father and keep your faith in Him! In His name your marriage will be made whole again! Prayers for you Kelly!
I had started following you, Kelly a while before the accident. When it happened, I began to pray for not only Michael, but YOU and your family. I knew, the more details you gave on the extent of the injury and the need for such serious surgeries, that it was going to change everything, not only for Michael, but for YOU and the family! I understand how this has devastated Michael and YOU! Between a brain injury and medications, alone, there have to be personality disorders.
Add in the fact of life altering issues: not being able to go to your job, in pain most of the time, etc. is enough to change someone in itself! I’m not trying to “take up” for Michael. It happened to him, so only he truly knows how he feels… it AFFECTS YOU, and only you know how that feels. Neither one can really understand how the other feels, totally. It changed your lives! I am praying God will help each of you…separately and together! That healing may begin, physically, emotionally and mentally! You seem like such a strong, willing to work with your hands, person, I pray that God will give you the strength and grace, to continue on…but that the load may become lighter and easier to bear! I pray that your lives can become as close to normal as possible in the very near future! That this may bring you and your family even closer to God, which is the greatest thing of all, though we can’t always see that! That alone can ease burdens and pain…
Kelly i totally understand
I’ve been living the same experiences since 2018. We have now been married 51 yrs. It is very rough some days. But I too get glimpses of the first 48 yrs. I am lucky enough to have a very good friend of years that is going through the same thing. So was somewhat familiar with the situation when it started happening to us after a simple fall. Some days I still sneak out of of the room to cry. But I know he still loves me as he did before his TBI. So I pray for y’all daily. I DO FEEL YOU! I have always loved following you before and after the accident. Stay strong. 💖🙏💖
It truly saddens me to see some of these comments. We try to teach our children to be kind, caring, have good morals etc. To see grown adults come to a persons page who are not forced to, but choose to come only to bully that person. They aught to be ashamed of themselves. Prayers for the haters to see their wicked ways and to realize how hurtful it is to kick a person while they’re down.