My Marriage Has Become a Cliché — And It Hurts More Than I Ever Imagined
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For years, I believed in the vows we made. Giving him my youth, my energy, and my unwavering devotion felt like the most natural thing in the world. I cooked the meals, kept the house, and stood by his side through every storm. Back then, I truly thought we were in this for life — but now, I’m living the painful reality of a husband abandoning his wife after decades of marriage.
But now, it feels like I’m living out a cruel cliché: the loyal wife left behind for greener pastures. A stereotype I used to scoff at, never imagining it would become my reality.
I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself. The face staring back isn’t the fresh one he fell in love with. My body has softened, my hair has grayed. I feel like a fat old hag, invisible and unwanted — as if the world has no use for a woman who has given her best years to someone else.
Picking Up the Pieces — Again and Again
What makes the heartbreak even more bitter is knowing how many times I stepped up when he couldn’t. Over the years, whenever he lost a job or struggled to find his footing, it was me who held everything together. I worked long hours, often at jobs I didn’t love, just to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I covered the bills, the kids’ needs, and every emergency — because I believed in us.
Now, as we grow older and I find myself needing more help — someone to lean on after years of carrying the load — I’m facing what it truly means to have a husband abandoning his wife, leaving me alone when I need him most.
Facing Surgery — And Fearing Abandonment
In the coming days, I will undergo surgery — something serious enough that I know I’ll need help to recover. And yet, more than the pain or the risk, what terrifies me most is the thought that he won’t be there for me. That the man I never left alone, the man I nursed through every injury, illness, and his ongoing recovery from his accident, won’t show me the same devotion when I am the one lying in bed, vulnerable and afraid.
The thought of going into surgery without the support of the man I once trusted terrifies me. It feels like proof that a husband abandoning wife isn’t just an idea — it’s the nightmare I’m living.
The Hurt Runs Even Deeper
It’s not just the absence of his care that’s breaking me — it’s the sense that he’s actively trying to hurt me. Lately, it feels like he’s intent on destroying everything I’ve worked so hard to build. He undermines my business and damages my reputation, as if he wants me to fail. His words drip with resentment, like he sees me and the obligations of marriage as a burden he can’t wait to cast off.
Each day, his hostility makes it feel like he’s punishing me for simply existing — for being the wife he once promised to love and cherish. The man who once relied on me now seems determined to tear me down, leaving me isolated, heartbroken, and questioning my worth even more.
Why Do I Stay?
I know what people would say if they read this: “Just leave.” “You deserve better.” And maybe they’re right. But why is it so easy for others to say it, when it feels impossible for me to do? I keep asking myself why I stay, why I can’t leave, even as I watch the signs of a husband abandoning his wife unfold before my eyes. Why do I keep putting myself through this pain?
The truth is, I don’t know how to let go of the fantasy I’ve carried all these years — the dream of growing old together, of sitting side by side in our rocking chairs one day. I don’t know how to walk away from everything I’ve invested, everything I’ve sacrificed, and start over alone. And deep down, I wonder if I even deserve more. I question whether I’m worth the love I’ve always given so freely.
The fear of losing everything — the home we built, the life we shared, the identity I created as his wife — feels heavier than the fear of staying. And maybe that’s why I stay: because hope, however fragile, still whispers that maybe things will change, even when reality keeps proving me wrong.
📖 Resources for Anyone Feeling the Same
If you find yourself in a situation like mine — feeling lost, heartbroken, or unsure whether to stay — I wanted to share two books that were recently recommended to me by a friend. I haven’t read them yet myself, but I plan to, and I hope they might help you too:
✅ Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife’s Guide to Recovery and Renewal by Vikki Stark
This book offers understanding, practical advice, and stories from women who have faced sudden abandonment. It’s written by a therapist who went through it herself.
Available on Amazon
✅ Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum
If you’re struggling to decide whether to hold on or walk away, this book uses simple questions and real-life stories to help you gain clarity about what’s best for you.
Available on Amazon
You’re not alone, and sometimes a few words from someone who’s been there — or guidance from those who’ve helped many others — can make the first steps forward a little less daunting.
Blindsided by a sudden breakup or betrayal? Runaway Husbands offers understanding, step-by-step guidance, and powerful stories to help abandoned wives heal, rebuild their lives, and find hope after unexpected heartbreak.
Torn between staying or leaving your marriage? Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay guides you through clear, practical questions to help you gain clarity, trust your instincts, and make the best decision for your future.
Finding My Voice, One Word at a Time
Writing these words hasn’t brought me the answers I hoped for, but it has reminded me that my story matters — even if it’s messy, painful, or unfinished. I don’t know what the future holds for my marriage, or for me. I don’t know if hope will prove foolish or if strength will carry me forward.
But I do know this: by sharing my truth, I refuse to stay silent in my pain. And if you’re reading this and feel seen in these words, maybe we can begin to heal together — not by pretending everything is okay, but by acknowledging what’s been lost and daring to imagine what we might still find.
💬 Share Your Story & Keep Reading
If my story resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. Share your own experiences or thoughts in the comments below — you’re not alone, and your words might help someone else feel seen.
If you’re looking for more raw, honest reflections on marriage and the struggles we face, you might also like these posts:
🔗 Marriage or Prison? When Commitment Feels Like a Life Sentence
🔗 Marriage Struggles: When Love Isn’t Enough
Let’s keep this conversation going. Together, we can navigate the hardest parts of marriage and find our voices again.
I have been through something very similar. I would like the opportunity to talk with you and give you helpful insight on your situation and I’ll share things that helped me get through my horrific 5 year marriage. I had no choice but to file for divorce as he was beating me up the last 8 months of the marriage. I wanted it to work but it just didn’t. I want to be
Your friend as I have walked some of my friends through very painful marriages. I’m doing it now with my friend Sharon. She won’t leave her husband and he verbally screams and yells at her on a regular basis. Please text me at 717-954-6014. I’m easy to talk to and I’ve been walking with the Lord 42 years. I care deeply about you. The Lord gave me a lot of compassion so that I can feel the pain of what others are going through. I’ll even help you carry your pain. I’m an intercessory so I pray for people alot. I hope I hear from you. (((Huggss)))(
I miss seeing your videos and wondered how you were.
You can do this! I got married a senior in high school…married in 85 divorced in 01. Was i scared yes… absolutely terrified but the fighting is front of my 2 kids was horrible. He was a narcissist ,a cheater and I had to find a rental … had no savings….very low income job…best decision i have made! I was alone but felt free …a load was lifted off my chest ! It’s hard… its not fair but you are worth it! I hate this has happened to you ,but you too can do it ! I’ve been remarried in July for 24 years! (((Hugs)))
Hiwd you meet your new hubby?
I still have the same husband.
I think dhe was asking Sally.
Kelly I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers 🙏🏼 I am so so sorry you are walking this path and I do pray that God will show you that you have the strength to keep going on to find the BEST plan for your life. Sending much love to you.. I surely hope to see you back on your page again bc I along with many others have missed you. Much Love, Caron
Kelly, I have been watching your life for a long time! I believe that with you and Michael, you have given so much of your time, energy, heart and soul, to make him feel love, power, control and he absolutely knows you will never give up on him or the marriage. He knows that he has complete power to do and act anyway he wants to act or be because you will Always be right there for him no matter what he does or how long he takes. Your forgiveness has no boundaries. You know in your heart that Michael does not love or respect you and you have known that for so long now but you have given him so much of you that you don’t have anything left. You don’t know how to let go and find you again much less love yourself again and that ( taking care and loving Kelly) is the key to start the road of healing for you!! I am 70 years old and was married for 50 years. My husband died in Nov of 2022 and I had been his caretaker for the last 5 years of his life. It’s the hardest 5 years of my life. Although I had hospice care for him with the last 3 years, he depended on me for everything 24/7. He was completely bed bound. My life belonged to his every need. I had no idea how much of me I had given to him until he died and it was over! I completely blew one knee out ( which have since had a total replacement) but my back is just in horrible shape. I need back surgery so bad but I’m too afraid!! That is just a fear that I have to learn to get over. I had none of these issues until after constantly trying to pick him up from falling and pulling and tugging with his baths and making him comfortable in his recliner and bed, helping him walk took such a toll on my body this was how I was left after he died. BUT saying all this was to get to the point of although we did love each other I longed for freedom and rest for my body and soul, but knew I would not have that until he did die ( and we all knew he was dying).
Well now I’m trying to find me again too and it’s not easy. I do have a wonderful supportive family, a son and a daughter and four grandchildren so I am so blessed. I know all that and I have two best friends that have been with me for over 60 years that I talk to every day! Those two friends have been my lifeline. We live in the same town and do everything together. They still have their husbands but they love me too and I love them. They are truly my extended family. I know you have some really great friends too and I’m telling you they are gold and so important to your healing process. You are grieving the loss of all you have known for so long and even though he still lives, you are grieving! Time, God, and acceptance of where you are now will eventually get you headed in the right direction and take my word for it, you will find such joy in freedom and loving Kelly for a change! If you don’t break completely before this happens, you will find your joy!!
I’m praying for complete healing with your upcoming surgery, please take care, you are worth it!!!♥️
I’m sure getting some of this off your chest helps. So sorry for all your pain. God will see you through this. Pray. 🙏❤️
Praying for peace and contentment for you 💕
Wishing you a speedy recovery with your surgery.
Hugs and prayers…
Advice I don’t feel im qualified to give but can completely understand your struggle.
We’re here for you spirit ❤️
Though my circumstances weren’t identical to yours, I feel like you and I are the same person. I was in a toxic marriage that was fueled by a dysfunctional man who managed to convince me that I was the problem. I loved him to a fault, yet deep down I knew that there was nothing I could do or say that would make him love me with that same depth. It hurt. I spent countless energy trying to convince him I was everything he needed and wanted, by not only words, but actions. Our marriage ended because he walked away, tossing me to the curb like a piece of trash. That was 31 years ago. I’ve since watched from a distance and realize that was the best thing he’s ever done for me. I didn’t have the strength, self confidence or belief in myself to put myself first and believe I was ‘good enough’ and deserved to be loved and treated better. I’m there now, and while life isn’t perfect, I’ve learned to take care of me because I AM worthy. Learn to love yourself, because while you might think you do, you really don’t….not yet. I had someone tell me to stand in front of the mirror every day and say ‘you’re worthy and I love you’. I would laugh while doing it, but I gave it a shot and it actually helped. I recommend therapy, it saved my life. So did Zoloft for about 6 months, which I fought taking but gave that a shot too and it was the right choice at the right time for me. My advice to you is this….STOP focusing on HIM and trying to convince him you are worthy, or dwelling on why you aren’t ‘good enough’ . Shift your focus back to yourself- you deserve that. You’re mindset it to put others first- but you’ll never heal if you don’t put yourself first. He knows your weaknesses and he’s milking that for all it’s worth. And lastly, when you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, you’ll take a shot at some of the advice being thrown your direction and wish you had sooner. Believe in yourself and try to stop neglecting yourself. God Bless- and know that you’ve got people who care what happens to you-
We were full time RV’ers. I was loving the life! Retired snd on the road, it was grest….until it wasn’t. We didn’t fight but he would get angry over petty little things and would never talk about the things that were going wrong. He did buy me a book about showing respect and catering to your husband. But there was noting in that book saying the husband was supposed to reciprocate that back to his wife. I felt very offended because I waited on this man, hand and foot, anticipating his needs to make his life easier. No one in 25 years ever tried to make mine easier! But, I have learned that a narcissist only thinks of themselves. I discovered he had signed up to a dating app and had asked sereral women to come “live with him, after he dumped his pain in the butt wife off in Michigan at her daughters house”. That was when I found out I wasn’t living the great retirement that i thought we had found. I feel your pain and your struggles Kelly. I knew he was set in what he wanted so i let it happen. I felt helpless, hopeless and very unlovable. You have to go through the struggle, and jeep telling yourself it isn’t you, you didn’t change , he did. And I was tired of being his door mat. Once I realized I wasn’t living my best life with him, i set out to make it my best life on my own. One day at a time. And every time he would complain about how something in our divorce wasn’t going his way, i would calmly say I is the life YOU chose, i didn’t choose this, YOU did. So you have nothing to complain about. I also got 4 years of alimony because in our state on line relationships, even though he never saw her in oerson or talked on a real phone, is considered adultry. Oh he was mad then, but, once again I reminded him that this was his choice not mine! 8 years later I am far better off emotionally and financially then i ever was in the almost 25 years we were together. No one can speak for you. You have to speak for yourself. Snd until you decide what you want from your life it is going to be a struggle. Just remember, that house is a monetary asset. I would imagine he see’s it because he is the man. But in reality you have put just as much in it as him and maybe even more. But is it really worth your unhappiness. Trying to hesl from this is hard enough without fighting over something that a court is going to make you split 50/50 anyway.
I wish you a lot of luck through this time in your life when things are supposed to be better rather than harder but you are not alone. You have family and friends to help you through. Believe in yourself and most importantly love yourself because you are a beautiful woman with a loving heart. And keeping yourself tied to a man that only loves himself will keep that special person from being there for you. You DO deserve a better life and if your husband is not willing to meet you halfway then it is time to make your life better fOR YOU! Jesus loves you and you will day by day start moving to the better side of all this.
Thank you for sharing that. It does help.
Kelly, What is it that you want from this relationship? You want it to be what it was before, right? Well, my sweet girl, it is never going to be that again. All that you knew of the marriage you had is gone…never to be the same. Life is made up of sentences, of paragraphs, of pages, of chapters…until we finally reach THE END. You must realize you need to turn the page of this chapter of your story and find out where your story is going. You need to stop thinking of it as a failure but rather a small part leading up to a glorious ending. Stop standing in the way of that happening. I understand how sad it is to give up on what you thought your ending was going to be. But I promise you, God has an exciting, happy, peaceful story for you but you’re not allowing it to happen. I know your home, your kids, your animals, all that you knew and love are making it so miserably hard for you but please allow God to show you He would never abandon you..He has a plan and He deserves the time to show you what that is. Try to stop standing in His way and let Hom show you His plan…your story. If you would do this, I think you may find that the sentences, paragraphs, and chapters concerning Michael may still have a good story…one where you become friends. By your staying, you’re not allowing this to happen. It’s time, Kelly, to turn the page. Be excited about living the next chapters of your life. You’ll never know what it is until you read (move) on.
I am absolutely here for you in my thoughts and prayers. I feel your pain deep inside me, perhaps because I can, in my way, “understand”. I will follow your journey as you try to navigate through all of this. I am miles and miles away, but I will be close in spirite
I hope your strength through God and love of your children and friends will help you through this time in your life… hoping fir a successful surgery for you!
Jesus walks with you, yiur never alone…
This too shall pass( stay strong kelly)🐈⬛♥️prayers for your fam n animals🙏
Just wanna add, YOUR STILL YOUNG, im 63, what I wouldn’t give for another extra 10 years everyone thinks your 50s are old. They’re not old when you compare it to being 60….
Make hay while the sunshines….
Move on n start yourself a new fresh life, n be kind to YOURSELF🐈⬛♥️
I read your story and my heart breaks for you although I didnt
Have that type of marriage but I can only imagine the fear you have to move on. It’s not easy and if you don’t have the support of family and friends it makes it harder
I can only
Pray that GOD gives you the strength to go on and makes you strong physically mentally and emotionally and I believe somewhere deep inside you, you will
Find the answer to move on as this life is only making you sicker than you already are
I wnent thru 2 marriages and 2 divorces and i have experienced this exact thing. I have found no matter how many times you get back together to try and work it out, it never worked. One time he married the other lady and he is still with her but she has went thru the same crap i did and more but she withstood the storm. The second one we divorced, but i stripped him in the divorce, even took his truck, just to show him i could. Whatever he ever told me i could not get out of him i got, out of spite. It was rough but i won and i put him thru the ringer. Did it feel good? Yes! But i eventually gave him his truck back but i had proved to him that i could. I am still single, never again for me, and i am much happier now. It takes time nut you will move on. It takes 6 months to a year but you will find that peace and happiness you desire. Usually when they see you have moved on they want you back but it normally never works out. Good lluck yo you, i willbe prayingGod gets you thru this and he will. Keep your head up and show him you can do better.
I wnent thru 2 marriages and 2 divorces and i have experienced this exact thing. I have found no matter how many times you get back together to try and work it out, it never worked. One time he married the other lady and he is still with her but she has went thru the same crap i did and more but she withstood the storm. The second one we divorced, but i stripped him in the divorce, even took his truck, just to show him i could. Whatever he ever told me i could not get out of him i got, out of spite. It was rough but i won and i put him thru the ringer. Did it feel good? Yes! But i eventually gave him his truck back but i had proved to him that i could. I am still single, never again for me, and i am much happier now. It takes time nut you will move on. It takes 6 months to a year but you will find that peace and happiness you desire. Usually when they see you have moved on they want you back but it normally never works out. Good luck yo you, i will be prayingGod gets you thru this and he will. Keep your head up and show him you can do better.
Read what Brenda wrote! Her statement to you is what you need to do…Don’t waste your time on that person…You are worth much more than what he gives to you…If you need to, go get a job after surgury mends and if you don’t stay in that house, get a apartment or etc and build yourself a new life without him…He is not worth your time anymore! You can do it…Time is ticking away so run like hell to the other side of all that mess with him…You are beautiful and you can easily find a companion or husband who will treat you like the queen you are,,,Go for it and don’t look back…He will try crawling back to you, but don’t even give him the time of day because he will treat you again the same way,,,,RUN,
Dear Kelly
Your story sounds another like mine. I was married to an abusive man for 25 years. My dreams and goals were just like yours. With 4 children I tried everything including counseling and Dr’s hoping there was a solution.
Ge didn’t agree and wo7ld not change. I was the problem.
It took great courage to finally leave with guidance.
I was scared and unsure of my future, the pain was unbearable.
But I did it.
I also had a major hysterectomy no care taker did it on my own.
You are stronger than you know!! Your health and well being is so important.
Please know with God’s strength you will be ok.
After 12 years I found my love and life is good!!
I am praying for you!!
I have been in a similar situation. My light has been and I was married almost 19 years..
When we got married, he used to drink, and I knew that, but then maybe again drinking more and more and more and turned to drugs with his friends at times there was girls was calling, and he would act like he didn’t know how they got our house phone number.
Not long after we got married I found out I was pregnant His sister-in-law and Mom and everyone always said that they wished the baby would die. That caused a lot of trouble between me and him because he didn’t want to say nothing. He didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Evidently, he thought I didn’t have no damn feelings..
His sister-in-law‘s sister even rear ended my pick up and that was after I had the baby she wasn’t but three months old.
I was pushed hit, kicked and had my head busted open when I was kicked. I was kick in the stomach when I was four months pregnant. I eventually start giving it back at one time. I did bust him over the head with beer bottle. I feel bad about it heck no. When you’re scared and being abused, you have to do what you have to do.
My grandmother was passing away from Alzheimer’s. She lived just right next-door., they had only gave us a couple days to be with her. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could.. I had went to my grandmother‘s to spend time with her. I left him and our daughter at the time Home not knowing that that was alcohol or drugs in the house. I came back home to fix them some dinner he was drunk. I did get mad. I did probably say more than I should’ve but when he said that him and our daughter was gonna go down to the liquor store into his brother‘s house I told him he wasn’t taking our daughter nowhere. So what’s going anyhow I can’t wasn’t taking her for him to go on, but if he did not to come back.
He got on drugs and ended up getting DUI from being drunk after we separate it. We separate March 2 and July 2. He got out of jail July 3 October 30 do you drug charges he had pain pills on him when he got U mind you got a got DUI on a ATV.
When we separated Dad after he got the last charges and went to jail, he was going to lose his CDL. He went to class and after he realized he wasn’t coming back here eventually went and got help.
By the time he got the help he needed his father started in the first stages of dementia. We did reconcile our differences we ended up getting close.
He was a truck driver local, one morning he was getting up to go to work and he passed out down at his dad. I took him to the hospital because he called and asked me if I would. Come to find out it was from his heart.
My flight has been in. I became very close. We talked about renewing our vows. When he started going to the heart doctor, he was sent to a specialist three hours away.. I couldn’t be with him when he went because I was fighting cancer. My sister and my mom took him for me. He was supposed to have open-heart surgery but see insurance because he was unable to work. Finally, as I want to get him a hospital card when he went to the doctor for his get his surgery scheduled to set up he stayed with me in our daughter for a month because we knew after he had his surgery we would have to watch everything we did for his safety..
On April 25 of 2022, I had to take him back to the hospital for congestive heart, failure, and AFIB. State at the hospital at 14 hours., it was getting very late and I have trouble seeing to drive in the dark, I tried to wait on the ambulance to get there to transfer him to another hospital. I hugged him and told him I love him.. I had planned on getting my sister and my mom to take me to him when he had his surgery. It was supposed to be May 3, 2022..
He arrived at the hospital real late on April 25, 2022. After he got there, he called to let me know he had arrived and it was about 11:45. My daughter and I was able to tell him good night and we love him.. He took a turn for the worst and they had to transferring to another hospital., the Hospital was the one that was going to do his open heart surgery.
He was on life-support I called and checked on him about every three hours every day. On May 1, 2022 at 12.:04 the hospital called. I talk to his doctor. He had went into cardiac arrest and they couldn’t get his heart beat back. The doctor told me that there was nothing they could do and asked me what I wanted them to do those three hardest words I’ve ever said in my life worse too let him go.
But has he not got the help he needed it would have finally filed for divorce.
I wish you all the best in life with whatever decision decisions you make.
So sorry things haven’t gotten better. I will pray for you and hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Trust God and the prayers of others as I know it is hard to pray yourself. Surround yourself with God fearing, positive, people, attend or watch church services. Prayers also for your upcoming surgery. You are loved.
I’m so sad about your situation and I myself was abandoned by a husband who left for one of my good friends (ends up not so good friend) It was devastating and scary for me but after much time I learned to love my alone time, it was so much more peaceful than wondering if he was out doing something he shouldn’t have been. Don’t get me wrong, my whole world changed but I made new friendships along the way and I became a much more confident and strong woman for it all.
It’s a very uncomfortable place to be at the crossroads, but I know you can and will make the best choice for yourself. I recently came across a lady by the name of Mel Robbins. She has a few books and a pod cast that might help you out. I wish there was an easy answer but life was never promised to be easy. Pray for discernment, doors to be opened and minds to be healed and never forget, God has a plan for you!
I remember when I started watching you yo were Avery strong women who was a leader and controlling the lead, but now I see a woman who has lost control of herself worth and he is dragging you down and you are letting him, My wish for you is to start loving yourself again and take back your control and self respect for you it’s not about him it’s all about YOU take care of you not him your not going to win him back, but if you decide to stay with him then you just need to learn live with whatever he dishes out. I wish you the best for you 💖🙏🙏
Kelly,
My heart breaks for you. I can not imagine how you feel or what you are going through. My husband and I have been married 44 years almost. He is the best ever. My family and friends say he is almost perfect. Marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100. God blessed me with a great husband. I pray that God leads you to do what is best for you.🙏🏻🙏🏻
My pastor said the are 3 acceptable reasons for divorce
1) adultery
2) abandonment (does not have to be physical..can live in same house but excluded from couple related decisions/involvement)
3)abuse(does not have to be physical…can be verbal/emotional/spiritual/financial ….my husband of 33 yrs took 5000$ a month of my earnings for 8 yrs(I worked 7 days a week often 20 hrs a week doing Sr caregiving because he income went down to 15,000 a year and our mortgage was more than that )and spent it with no account of what bills were/where my earnings went (he also had my SS directed to a account he controlled) …as church going people I trusted him until I found out he had not paid taxes in 10+ yrs/was sports gambling on line) …he became a man who was very clean to not taking a shower for many months at a time (depression?)
I walked away with no anger but just done…I didn’t ask for spousal support. Living on 600$ a month ss I did Sr care live in until I remarried 8 yrs later.
Even tho my husband loved me he was beyond repair. Best decision I made
Brain injury plus his probable underlying attitude towards marriage he is beyond repair. (He wants you to be the breadwinner/homemaker where he just enjoys the fruit of your labor.
You are being used…sadly it will not change.. let go and let God bring you a life of peace and love you DESERVE. sadly you can’t have the marriage you had because of his brain damage…he is not capable of loving you/be a godly husband 😢💔
Accept the reality and take one day at a time with God’s direction 🫂
Arrange for post surgery to have friends come in to care for you with food/showed/laundry/companionship as Michael will not do it
🙏🙏🙏🫂
I found out my husband was cheating 2 days after Christmas. I am 53 and was working part time at Culver’s to help take care of him. I moved in with my adult daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. I found a better paying job with full time hours and benefits, and on June 7th, ironically my ex-husbands birthday, I celebrated by moving into my own apartment. It different and weird and gloriously peaceful. I think sometimes you do realize the chaos you’re living in until you get out of it and can look at it from the outside. The future is scary and unpredictable, and I’m here for it. Sending you light and love.
Stay strong the fight is worth it .. I was married to my ex for 19 years with him a total of 23 years we have 4 kids together our oldest being 28 our youngest 11 . I stayed through all the cheating the Alcohol problem through surgeries death of his mom etc .. Even opened a business with him worked there daily even after our divorce . I showed him that even though we got together at 16 years old that I was forever by his side even though he hurt me so bad time and time again . His last affair I had enough he ended up marrying that girl a month after our divorce now he is seeing it wasn’t so Green on the other side and what he gave up and Karma is hitting him hard now . We talk a lot he still is constant in my life who knows what the future holds who knows we could be back together from a lesson learned and mistakes made but I had to let him figure that .. I had to be strong and tough never lose hope love conquers all and god will guide you …. Hugs my beautiful friend
I’m talking to you. You are a strong beautiful woman. Don’t let that man drag you down. Come to terms With what is happening. Find a way to make a secret stash of money. Once that is done as hard as it will be pack a bag and walk away. Let him have all that he thinks he can have. You don’t have to divorce him you just have to show him you’re not going to stay by his side. If he doesn’t figure it out then you build your life on your businesses whatever there should be. I’m a parent and I’m a single parent. It was hard for me to get started but I worked three jobs just to build myself up. This is just showing you that it’ll be hard to do very hard to do but I know you can do it again you are a strong beautiful woman any man would be glad to be by your side. Get your faith back stand and lean on God and give it to him and always possible. We all love you and we’ve all seen what you’ve been through and love you lady he is not worth it. Let him and the girls go out and party let him go out and catch something that Ajax won’t take off. They will all figure out that he is having issues and has a mental problem. Again I love watching your cooking shows I love watching you just talk about anything. Don’t let him drag you down wake up your mind that you’re going to do this just start doing. Love you Susan
You’re allowing him to control you. He is moving on and you’re still stuck. It takes courage to acknowledge that and even more courage to consider a change. Staying in a situation that’s no longer fulfilling, even if it feels safe or familiar, can prevent you from experiencing joy and growth.You’ve dedicated a significant portion of your life to others, and that’s commendable. Now, it’s time to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Stepping outside your comfort zone can be scary, but the potential rewards—finding happiness and fulfillment—make it worthwhile. Remember, it’s okay to seek support and guidance as you navigate this transition. There are resources available to help you rediscover yourself and create a fulfilling future. If you stay and keep trying the years would have pass you by and you would still end up as miserable as you are but older and no wiser. Turn the page and start a new chapter, get out and live the best life you can. You just have to take that first step, it’s time for you to come first, don’t let fear stop you. Your happiness is waiting. Prayers for healing.
Kelly, I just saw u live, but your message went away before I could see all of it. I haven’t seen u on line in over a year and have missed you. I’m sorry to hear about your surgery an pray you will be ok. Please listen to the advice your friends have been giving you. You need to learn to love yourself and to take care of you. I know it must be hard for you, but for once you have to put yourself first. After 2 years of living with this problem things won’t get better until you think of you first. All of your friend which I consider myself one. Please pray for god to help you learn you are a good person who shouldn’t have to live with a person who shows no respect or love. You are a child of god and he will always love you and help you learn what self love is.You deserve more than you think you do.
I miss you Kelly. I pray for a speedy recovery recovery for your shoulder. I pray for you and your family. I pray that God gives you the strength to put into Kelly and show you , you are worthy and deserve to be loved and treated like a queen. I love you and miss you.
I’m so sorry you are still going through this. I know you are hoping and praying for things to return to how they once were. But Michael is never going to be the same. The husband you once had is gone. There just a different soul in his body. This soul doesn’t have the ability to mingle and mesh the bad parts of himself with just enough good parts to make life seem good with him. The accident had stripped him down to the raw, nitty gritty essence of who he is. His brain doesn’t have the ability anymore to pretend and cover-up the narcissist that he truly is deep down. Maybe he lacks some impulse control ?? But the long and short of it, Michael is not the same man you married. He is essentially a stranger that you are hoping can morph into the man you fell in love with. I may be totally off track here, but this what I get from all of it. I’m not a doctor or any sort of professional or expert. Just a woman offering my opinion. Love you and pray for you every night. Only you, Kelly, can decide when you’ve had enough, when it’s time to jump ship and swim ashore to start your next chapter and eventually your next book.